Just my 2 cents

Over on Thomas's blog there has been a few anonymous comments posted last night regarding this thing we do. I fell asleep before his post for the night posted but woke up early in the morning and checked it out. I noticed that it had 7 comments at that time and I was curious why a post that was just posted got so many comments so quick. I quickly saw why as it was a debate going on between Thomas and this commenter. Since Thomas went to bed and left his email open I checked his trash for the comment that she said was not posted. I read that comment and realized why he didn't post it to begin with. In that post she really was just being pretty rude and went as far as calling me mental and brainwashed by him. I have copied and pasted the comments as of the time that I am writing this post for you to read as well. After that I will also write my post with more of my two cents in it. Not sure if anymore comments have come through since but if you are curious to the rest of the comments please visit his blog here.

Anonymous said...
I notice you didn't put my comment up. I guess you only allow comments that praise you. A typical abusive man.
January 30, 2010 9:22 PM


Thomas_III said...
Oh, no, I post comments from people that disagree with me or even don't like what I do. However, I don't post comments from people that lie about who they are or why they're posting here, or that try to characterize our lifestyle as "abusive." If you're really looking on SpankingTube as part of research, then you're doing a poor job of learning from any of it. Personally, I don't buy that for a minute. If that were really the case, then you wouldn't have gone through so much trouble to read all of those comments on SpankingTube on several videos, then follow my comments back to my profile, and then back to my blog, just to post your nonsense here. Then, you come back, again, to this site that you say contradicts your very being, to see if your comment posted. That is the act of someone trying to stir the pot. This doesn't surprise me, though, since your earlier post quickly brought up Kyle's name, a consumate pot-stirrer by profession

January 30, 2010 9:32 PM


Anonymous said...
My 'research', if you can call it that, has brought me to many spots on the Internet. Spanking tube has brought me to many many blogs and sites, including yours. I was very curious to see if you had a response to my comment, so yes, I came back. I'll come back again probably. In all honesty, at first as I looked at sites, I simply thought, 'to each his own'. But the more I see the more irritated I am at the men who abuse and the women who believe it's healthy.


Initially my paper was to be about how people have the right to chose their own lifestyles even if strange. To an extent I agree with that, but I've changed the flavor of the paper to being totally against DD relationships. You're not the only one I've commented too. I have noticed that not one that I've commented to, can defend what they do. Your comment about 'stirring the pot' is exactly what I'm referring to. You don't even try to explain, because you can't, so you jump to an attitude of "I'm too good to debate this". I believe in the right to debate and I find it intruiging that spankee's don't have the ability and spankers won't try. It's sad. If you believe it's not abuse, then post my comment and respond. Or respond privately to darknessandrain@gmail.com.


Your comments are being used for my paper, so I guess I understand if that's not something you want, because yes, I'm going to include your web address.
January 30, 2010 10:19 PM


Thomas_III said...

Thank you for the free publicity, then.


If you're looking for a defense, then I'm quite happy to provide one. When a female looks to a male for discipline (or a male looks to a female, which is also the case in many relationships, despite your own skewed belief that apparently only males can be "abusive"), they are acknowledging that there are elements in their life that they can more readily face or change if someone is there to hold them accountable and enforce the rules. Being an adult may mean that we know what's best for us, but it doesn't always mean that we DO what's best for us. How many times has the average person, you perhaps, stayed up too late on the computer when they have work or school the next day? That's a whole lot of people. In the case of a DD relationship, though, there is another person in the mix that cares enough about the other person (usually a lover, but that's not always the case) to do more than just give them annoying reminders that they need to get in bed. So, to this end, the spankee in the relationship gives the spanker the authority to discipline them when needed. To emphasize, it is given, not taken. By the same token, if it's no longer working for her, she can freely take it away. In an abusive relationship, it's never as easy as simply saying "don't beat me, anymore." However, in a DD relationship, it is.


A disciplinarian has to care for the spankee on an emotional level. I find it absolutely impossible to discipline a young lady that I know nothing about and have no connection to. The emotional aspect is even more important than the physical. A spanking, no matter the reason, means nothing if coming from someone that you don't care about, and that doesn't care for you. If you can't honestly believe that the person is doing it in your best interests, then discipline has no effect, period.
January 30, 2010 11:00 PM




Thomas_III said...
Furthermore, if you really want to see more of my views on discipline in a spanking lifestyle, try reading any of my essays on the subject, which can be found in the archives via the sidebar link. Pay special attention to the post "Domestic Violence Versus Domestic Discipline" for your defense that you want so much to hear.


January 30, 2010 11:03 PM


Anonymous said...


So, does your 'cookie' have the ability to make mature decisions about things such as, not smoking, without you hitting her?


Do you hit your kids in the same way? If not, is it because you would consider it abuse?

Is she allowed to tell you that she simply doesn't want a spanking today as she's not in the mood? If she does, do you respect her wishes, or do you feel that you have the right to hit her anyway?



Who do you have to answer to when you make mistakes, or when you're moody? Are you punished, or are you above that?


I know you're so sure I'm simply antagonistic, but I'm looking for legitimate answers to these questions...not general answers, but answers from your own personal life.

January 30, 2010 11:18 PM

Thomas_III said...


If you weren't being antagonistic, you wouldn't blatantly refer to spanking as "hitting" with every single "question" that you make. The venom is practically dripping off of your words. However, I'll answer you, anyway.

1. Cookie (she's a person, not an object, so please do her the decency of capitalizing her name) is mature enough to know what she should be doing, but lacks the willpower to resist the temptation. If she did, then it should be little problem for an asthmatic to know that she needs to stop smoking. Yet, this has been one of her greatest downfalls, as it's still hard for her, even now, to turn down a drag when offered, even when her asthma's been acting up so badly lately. Would it be better to allow her to indulge this death wish, or to simply warm her backside when she goes for a cigarette? (I should also mention that a spanker, unlike the abusers that you try to typecast us as, focus our attentions solely on the bottom, a well-padded section of the body that heals quickly, rather than the face or stomach like the typical wife-beater. Abuse doesn't come with as much presence of mind as to choose your targets.)

Would I spank my kids? I see nothing inherently wrong with the act, as long as it's from a loving member of their family. I don't approve of corporal punishment in schools, but it's fine in the home. Again, though, simply calling it "hitting" fails to denote the inherent differences in how spanking can be administered, which will determine what's abuse and what's not. If a parent yanks a child up out of anger, blistering their backside without adequate explanation and then setting them back down with just as little affection, then, yes, it's abuse. However, if another parent finds a calm moment to take the child aside, explain exactly what the child did that was wrong and why the child should have behaved differently, dole out a spanking that is fair for the crime, then hold the child and remind them that they are forgiven and loved, then, no, it's not abusive.

If she isn't in the mood for play or therapeutic spankings, then it simply doesn't happen, period. In the case of discipline, though, her behavior overrules her current wishes. You could argue that I have the "right" to do so because she's asked me to hold her accountable in those situations. What's more important, though, is that I have that I have the responsibility to hold her accountable, even when it isn't "convenient" for her or me.

Essentially, I have to answer to myself, as I'm my own worst critic (though, I'm sure that you can strive to be a close second). However, this doesn't include being spanked. It's just not a part of my makeup. In other words, trying to spank me to change behavior would likely meet with a brick wall. I was disciplined with a belt when I was growing up, but all it ever did was teach me to not get caught. (It was also the reason that, for most of my adult life, I was against spanking children. Only later, when I realized that spanking could be given in a loving manner, and not like I experienced it, did my opinions on that change.) I did, on one occasion in which I really screwed up, offer for Cookie to discipline me for the offense. She didn't take me up on it (she's no more of a spanker than I am a spankee), so it didn't happen.

Any more questions?

January 30, 2010 11:42 PM

Anonymous said...


Yes, I do have more questions.


So if you would spank your child, would you do so in such a way that there's bruises left, welts, and even blood? That's how you do it to your girlf, so do you feel it's ok to do that to a child?

As for the smoking, are you saying that Cookie can't control herself unless disciplined by you? There are millions of adults who give up addictions without that, why does she not have that ability? To be honest, it makes it sound like she has some kind of mental disability and can't control her own life. No, I don't believe that she actually does, but I do believe that thru your lifestyle, she's been 'brainwashed' to believe that the only way to live a safe and productive life is to be spanked.


You take offense to the word 'hitting'. That's exactly what it is. It's beating. Spanking is a parent giving a child 3 or 4 swats to get his/her attention. When implements are used to hurt intensely, or when it lasts so long that it causes bruising, welts, or bleeding, that's when it becomes abuse. How can you say it's not 'hitting'? You are swinging and HITTING---you may disagree with everything I say, but the word hitting means what it means, and it's what you do.

You have to answer to yourself, why is it that you have that ability, but she doesn't?



Since you believe this is such a loving and wonderful arrangement, why do you try to hide it from your kids?

Again, I realize you find me antagonistic, however, in truth I'm simply extremely blunt. I have no bad feelings towards you, only bad thoughts---as in everything that I've told you. I love the fact that I can say whatever I want and in whatever way I want and will not be bruised up over it.

One other thing, I don't necessarily believe that you have bad motives in what you do. At least I certainly hope you don't. But I do believe that you don't realize the lasting harm that you're actually doing to your girlf and I believe that you love what you do so much that you refuse to look at it with reason.

January 31, 2010 12:21 AM




Cookie Crawford said...


"You're not the only one I've commented too. I have noticed that not one that I've commented to, can defend what they do."

Maybe that's because no matter what we tell you or how we try to explain things you are going to put us down and think exactly the way you do regardless. It's pointless to get into a debate with someone such as yourself. Whose only reason for being here is to stir the pot and say we are mental and have no clue what we are doing. Whether you want to believe that isn't the case or not, regardless, it is. Even as Thomas answers you, you come back with the same abuse nonsense and what not.



I was in an abusive situation before and I can tell you that Domestic discipline is nothing like that. I dont live in fear of what is going to happen to me everyday like I have in the past. And I have never once been "hit" by Thomas. You will feel the way you feel no matter what but personally I am tired of the occasional person (that doesn't have a clue as to what this lifestyle is even about) coming here telling me I'm brainwashed or mental because I am in a happy and healthy loving relationship. And I know that Thomas loves and cares for me and my children much more then you can probably even imagine.

For your information, I do not know how spankingtube is even a qualified "research" place. It's not even a domestic discipline site at all. It's pretty much a porn site for the most part, Hence why we hide what we do from our kids. I can't believe that you even asked that question. Even if we didn't practice DD and just had spanking play for sex and what not we wouldn't go telling our kids and things. researching domestic discipline would have taken you to plenty of more informative sites if that was really what you were looking for but just as Thomas I dont believe that is why you are here.
So continue on with your bashing and name calling you seem to be having fun with it and we can all talk and try to explain things to you till we are blue in the face and you'll just turn around and tell us we are mental or abusive or brainwashed because we dont feel the same way as you do and our lifestyle just doesn't fit yours.


January 31, 2010 12:49 AM




Thomas_III said...


You like to make assumptions, don't you? No, a child would not have welts, bruises, etc. A child would typically be crying by the, as you say, the third or fourth swat, which is enough. That emotional release is more than enough of a signal to prove that the intent of the spanking has been reached. An older child might require more, but it still wouldn't leave lasting marks. Even with Cookie, if you'd actually look at the videos or pictures, only rarely bruises or bleeds, except during very intense sessions. In this very post that you're commenting to, she is only red, or perhaps you didn't take the time to notice?


Sure, there are millions of people that give up addictions, but there are millions more that don't bother trying, even when they know the ramifications to their own bodies. If I wasn't pushing her, Cookie would still be a pack-a-day smoker, and likely already dead. As for brainwashing her, this is the lifestyle that she was looking for when we met. It wasn't something that I talked her into, and it wasn't something that she'd had with a former boyfriend. It was a decision of her own volition, based on what she wanted in her life.

Yes, and I'll say it again. It's not "hitting." "Hitting" is a generic term to describe any act of striking another person. While this may make spanking "hitting" by default, the term is presumptuous. "Hitting" does not identify a target area, and saying that someone "hits" another person could mean their genitals, their stomach, their face, or any other body part. A spanking solely targets the fleshiest areas of the backside, which can take the most impact and heal the quickest when it's done. Even when a spanking leaves bruises or welts, it will be healed again in a matter of days, won't leave lasting physical damage. Punching someone in the gut can send them to the hospital, as can punching them in the face or throwing them down a flight of stairs. When have you ever seen someone in the emergency room after a properly administered spanking?


I have the ability to answer for myself because I choose to. Likewise, she made the choice to give up that ability, which is the only reason that she doesn't have it.


I try to hide it from the kids because it is still an ADULT activity, plain and simple. They do, however, know that I'm the head of the household, and that my word superimposes their mother's. However, they aren't made privy to the nasty details. By the same token, they also know that their parents have sex, but I'm not going to sit down and discuss the details over breakfast. It's none of their business. If they had honest questions about our life, though, I would try to answer them, just as I'd answer questions about sex if they asked.

January 31, 2010 8:51 AM

 Thomas_III said...


I'm going to reprint this here, so that I can delete it from the Discussion Sunday post.


Anonymous said....


Ok....Yup, I'm contacting you yet again. I know, you're sick of it. Oh well.


First of all, I'd like to say that I've spent most of the night looking all over the internet at other blogs and sites related to this. (I don't have to work today or tomorrow so I'll sleep later)


Anyway, while I absolutely could NEVER live in such a lifestyle, I can see that in your case it's consenual. I've read a lot of your essays and while I find it weird, you seem to care.


I think I started to lose my irritation at you when I found another site which horrified me. It was books about LDD and ALDD. Anyway, in those the male would urinate into his wife's mouth to punish her and the books suggest this. It said after a woman was spanked she had to immediately give her 'hoh' oral sex, BUT, she was not to enjoy doing it. If the 'hoh' started to think she might be enjoying it, he was to strike her breasts or any area that would bring her back to tears while preforming orally.


There was much more that it said, and there were people who commented on how they lived in that lifestyle. It even said that if a husband was in a bad mood, it's his wife's 'duty' to offer herself to be spanked so that he can ease his tension. It said that if she didn't offer, that would be disobedience and she should be spanked for that.


Please tell me you don't live by all that. I can't see that you do, especially after reading your essay on aftercare.
Again, I disagree 100% with your lifestyle. I would call 911 if a guy EVER tried to 'punish' me. However, that's because I've made the choice not to live that way.


I know you found me irritating and obnoxious. I'm simply blunt, honest, and extremely dedicated to what I believe. However, I'm not close minded and hope to never be. After I do research on things, I make informed decisions.

Hope you smile today. :-)


January 31, 2010 8:53 AM


Thomas_III said...


I know of the Loving Domestic Discipline site, though I don't prescribe to the nonsense that he writes on it. It hasn't been active for a while, though, so I think that he's pulled back from working on it. A few people have been asking about his blog on some forums that I've been to.


While I don't think much of that site's methods, one thing that you've mentioned (the spankee offering her bottom for the spanker's stress relief) has been present in my life. It's something that's always been offered freely, though, as I've never asked for it or deigned to punish her if she didn't. It was just meant to ease my tensions, perhaps after a long and hard day at work.


You have to remember, though, that not all spankings are displeasurable for Cookie. (This fact seems to be blatantly missed in all of your questions.) Many spankings are erotic to her, which leads to much fun in bed. Spankings can also be therapeutic, and there are videos here on my blog where she was spanked simply for her own stress relief (similarly to how she might ask me to spank her for my own stress relief). Many of the intense punishments were also intended for stress relief, which is why she was pushed so hard for them. A good portion of the spankings that she receives are simply playful, with no erotic or disciplinary connotations, whatsoever. If you'd read a bit deeper into the blog, you'd see that we attend spanking parties, where she's spanked by several others for simple enjoyment of the act, and not for sexual arousal or behavior modification. Only when the spanking is purely for punishment or discipline is it "unpleasurable" for her.


So, being spanked to help me burn off a bad day is just something that she does to help me feel better. She experiences no displeasure from it (she might even enjoy it, but I've never asked her about that). How she views a spanking will depend largely on the reason that it's being given. It depends on the mindset that she's in. Though, I'm not even going to try to start explaining the psychological aspects to you of what we do. It would take far too long, and it's unlikely that you'd understand much of it.


January 31, 2010 9:08 AM


Okay now that I copied and posted all that. Im going to go on and say that. I appericate her last response were she states that she doesn't agree with our lifestyle and it is not for her. Because yes this lifestyle is not for everyone. I would never force it on someone neither would Thomas. We however both choose to live that way and did so before we even meet so it wasnt a brainwash from him to make me submit to him. And I didn't commit to him without knowing what was in store for the both of us. In our vows at our ceremony we both added elements that included Domestic discipline as a part of our life together. Should I ever choose to leave I am more then welcome to. Should I ever decide that i dont want to be spanked i can say no and walk away. But with that being said, At the same time should I ever choose not to live this lifestyle then I would pretty much be choosing not to be with Thomas. It was very much a part of him before we meet and it always will be a part of him. Just as I am sure it will always be a part of me. Just up and deciding I dont want this anymore is a choice I have, but one I choose not to take because this lifestyle is what I want and Thomas is who I want to be with.

Even on this blog there has been other times where I have had to defend myself against accusations about me being weak or mental or abused and not knowing it. I have said it many times before and I will say it again. I am in no way shape or form in an abusive relationship. I am well taken care of emotionally and physically by a man that cares not only about me and my well being but also that of my children. Theres alot of things that Thomas does for and with us that are never mentioned on the blog. I mention alot more personal things here on mine but for the most part only the spanking aspects and certain things make it to this blog.

I have been in a relationship where I have had a gun held to my head, punched kicked and beaten for no reason, emotionally belittled and hurt almost daily by one that claimed to love me, Ive been left to walk home from work one day in the pouring rain when I was sent home from work sick because my BF was to tired to get out of bed and come get me. I then ended up in the hospital for days with asthma due to having phenmonia. I still remember vivildly some of the things I have endured in abusive relationships. I remember the fear day to day of what was going to happen next. The not knowing what would set him off. When they came towards me I never knew from one minute to the next whether they were going to hug me or hurt me. There are so many emotions and fear and things in abuse that it is easy to distinguish the two when you have lived through abuse.

It's very easy for someone that hasn't been abused to cry abuse when they see something they arent comfortable with. Being spanked is far from abuse for me. But for someone else it would be. But i am not the one that can judge that. I cant say because someone else plays harder or does things that I dont do that they are in a bad or abusive relationship or there lifestyle is wrong. I know some poeple "play" more intensely then I have ever been spanked even for discipline to each their own really does apply in life in genral.

I know that if this commenter ever saw a BDSM scene she would probably freak out. If she thinks that a little bit of spanking is abusive imagine what they would think to see A girl tied up in all kinds of positions getting whipped. Or a girl that serves as a slave. There are way more extreme consensual acts that go on all around the world. But to each their own is how I see the world. What one enjoys as far as in the bed and what not is up to them. And I say enjoy because even a slave enjoys serving if that is how she is wired. Im just not wired that way myself.

I really dont have much more to add to this debate and what not because like we all know and have seen before it does no good to try to convince someone else that we are happy and content in the way that we choose to live and that it works for us. No matter how many times we try to logic through it if it isnt something that they are comfortable with themself then it must be abusive or bad no matter what we say.

I just wish that those that feel that way would not have to come and attack us for our beliefs and our feelings. How many times do you see us going to a vanilla blog and saying that we think they are weird or wrong because thay arent getting spanked or living the same way we do.  Calling us disgusting, abusers, weak, mental, etc. etc. is really uncalled for. Now if your curious and non judgemental and want to ask questions we are always more then happy to explain things to someone that is at least considerate and civil in doing so.

Sorry for the rant it is just comments like these get to me sometimes as I really hate having to explain the whole thing over and over to only be told once again that I am "brainwashed" or wrong for how I choose to live.

Cookie's wake up call

After we made the customer appreciation video Thomas already had in store for me a punishment as well. Ive been having an attitude and giving him a hard time waking up. So he had enough and since the kids were gone and we were already making a video he decided to quickly take care of the problem as well. The video itself is short and to the point so there isnt really a preview available. It was five cane strokes for a warning as what would come should I continue to give him problems. It is now available on the clips site Birchwood Academy as well. Here's a screen shot though that is all we have for this video. I havent had any problems lately though. The cane is not one of my favorites as far as taking it. I love watching others get it but I will certainly be the first to tell you that I am not good at receiving the cane.



Also available is a video he did with a model Renee. here's a preview of that video as well. Still to come is part two as well as the full video and the "just the action" parts to the three videos. Enjoy! She seems to have been quite a squirmer as well LOL.

Lonely Place by Taylor Ivana

Well we got the car back again. This time a new alternator was put in although I am still apprehensive about that being the problem. And I am not really to keen on having to drive the car at night yet. Until I see for certain that this time the car is really fixed Ill be less then ready to drive it at night which is when I need it the most for the kids adventures. Especially the scouting meetings. Which is when it has broken down on me the most. So until I can verify that the car is really fixed this time I will not be driving the car alone at night. Ill be making Thomas come along just in case. Since the car always seems to break down on me he keeps saying that I broke the car. Granted I am not the best person for car maintenance but the problems that the car has had really aren't avoidable as far as regular maintenance. And I didnt break the car. I just used the car the most at night and usually after he has driven it home from Joyce's as well. So tonight I need to take the boys to a scouting event and guess who Ill drag along LOL.

Anyway I have been stressed with things lately. The car, The kids having to switch schools since they missed so much, My son giving me a hell of a day on Wednesday. Thomas walked home to a bunch of tension he had to cut through between my son and I. My son is doing fine now and has apologized for his burt of anger and tantrum. I let him know that I still love him. He said he was worried because I got so upset I was crying and that he felt bad but he was just so angry he couldn't help it. Sometimes I wonder what the hell these kids are thinking when they go through these teenage phases. I swear I never want anymore kids. Babies and toddlers are so much easier to handle then preteens and teens. I sure hope that my now 10 year old doesn't go through the same teenage terror the others have. Its those days that I just want to run away and not be found till the kids are 18 LOL,

In my search for calmness and things I always go to youtube and listen to music that I like. I was looking at a few songs from the hope for Haiti telethon they had recently. I came across a very beautiful song from Taylor Ivana that I really liked. From what I heard this is a fourteen year old that made this song just for the Haiti telethon. But the words that are in the song were very helpful in calming me down and realizing that things are not as bad as I think they are at the moment. I have to be thankful for the good that I do have. After that earthquake I can not imagine how those poor people feel right now and what they have to be going through. It really makes me think about complaining about the petty things I deal with right now. Anyway i wanted to share this beautiful song as well. And I hope that everyone keeps Haiti in their thoughts and that we all pull together and help the best we can.

some updates and a good read

So I just got back from the zoo earlier today. My legs are hurting but it isnt just from the zoo trip,,,,

We got our car back on Friday after deciding that we would for go our phones for a week in order to pay for the repairs and get the car back. Seemed like a reasonable thing. And everything was fine until last night.....

I had to go to Kinko's to get some copies of a scavenger hunt thing we were doing with the kids at the zoo. so I waited till Thomas came home from Joyce's around 530. I jumped in the car and headed down to Kinko's. All was fine but it was already 6 and I needed to feed my boys and Thomas so I decided to stop at Publiks to get a quick meal to make. upon getting there I did notice that the clock on our dash board kind of flickered. I didnt think anything of it though since I figured the car has been fixed. so I went and got our food and headed back to the car. I pulled out into the left turning lane to head home and just as I was starting to turn left the clock flickered then dimmed and all the inside lights went off and the car died on me like before.

However this time I couldn't just pull over with the little juice I had before it completely died. So there I was stuck in the middle of an intersection a very busy one at that. I was lucky enough that the lady beside me had her husband in the car and he got out to help push me out of traffic. Even though people were still pretty ignorant and honking and things. I mean it wasn't something I could help. The man pushed me off the road and they got back in their car and headed away. They couldn't really speak English so there wasn't much conversation anyway. I was really glad for the help though.

Anyway as I am stuck on the side of this road I call Thomas. Since we will have the phones till Monday when the bill is due. which I am glad for that. And the first words out of my mouth were I hate this fucking car!!!!! I was really upset though so there was plenty more I really wanted to say. To make matters worse i need a new phone as my reception is really bad so I couldn't hear him. We had to go to text. He told me to let the car sit and try to start it again. Since that has been what it is doing. It will die but will later start. After about an hour of sitting there and texting back and forth to Thomas and calling the others that were supposed to be at the trip to the zoo and telling them I wasn't sure I would make it. They were all busy and couldn't come help but one did offer to come get us in the morning for the trip. So it wouldnt have been a total lost.

Again Thomas tried to get someone to come get me but couldn't get ahold of anyone. I didnt have enough to take a cab because the little we had was for the trip to the zoo and that was already mostly borrowed as it was. Anyway I told Thomas that I was going to start walking. He messaged back "You can't walk that far" Which really it would be difficult but I told him I had really no other choice and it would just take me longer because i would have to stop and i would have to take a treatment when I got home. Thomas then messaged me and said that he was going to start walking and meet me. He left his cell phone with our oldest and started walking the battery in my phone was starting to die though so I couldn't call very much as we wanted to keep enough life in it to call EMS if I should need it. Which is why Thomas also decided to meet me to make sure that I didnt fall out somewhere. I love my man he really does care and loves me.

That was a very long walk. It probably was about a 2 hour walk and by the time I meet up with Thomas I was needing a break. He had jogged some of the way so that he could get to me faster. I was carrying the groceries as well though which made it harder for me 2. So when Thomas got there he took the groceries and we walked the other hour and something to get home. My legs and feet were hurting as I am not able to walk and do things as easy like that. Good thing was though I only had to stop and rest and use my inhaler one time. And after he took the bags for me it was alot easier for me without the added weight. We finally made it home and talked a little about the options with the car and what might be wrong with it. 400 dollars later you would think that the car would not have any problems. we are thinking it is electrical now though. It seems to only cut off at night when the lights are running. Thomas got up at 630 this morning to take the two hour walk so that we can get the car home and go to the zoo. The car started right up and he got home showered and we all headed to the zoo. Had fun too which was needed after that last night.

Now by this time I was irritated and moody and tired and hurting. I had been getting an attitude with Thomas about not spending time with me and the fact that I dont remember the last time we actually "played" or had sex or anything. It was seeming like all we did was exist in the same house. But by that time I really didnt even want anything. However apparently he had written a blog before I broke down and he had to walk to me. He even mentioned that his post that day was about how we got the car back and things. I just read it a few minutes ago though and saw everything he wrote. Apparently my attitude was getting to him and he was going to give me the pleasure I wanted lately and then a session with the cane.

Needless to say that when he decided to actually start play I was really bitchy and told him to get off me and go to sleep. However he didnt just roll over and go to sleep instead he just went straight to the caning. I was in a mood so it brought me to tears real easy. When it was over we went to bed. Hopefully now that I am in a better not great but better mood he will feel up to trying again because I surely do need a little release. I doubt it will be tonight though as we are both tired after the ordeal last night then he had to get up early this morning walk two hours again to the car and drive home to go walk around the zoo. So by the time we go to bed I think we will both just want to go to sleep. I know I will. LOL

Ill write a little more about our trip to the zoo it was alot of fun Thomas took some pictures as well. So I might have those to share. I stayed out of the snake areas the best I could though. They are just not my thing. LOL

Now you ll notice I also added in the title a good read. I was catching up on blogs today and I read one that I found that I really liked. After the little drama we have just experienced with the young and inexperienced who claim to have experience I found this post very insightful. I encourage you to check it out for yourself over on A Masters viewpoint of the BDSM world. The link will take you right to the post.

Now then I am off to rest my aching bones LOL. Take care!!!

Customer appreciation video now available

Well now that I got the scene drama off my chest I wanted to write and let everyone know that despite all the drama we are going through with the car situation. Which now we have no clue when we will be able to get it back since we really dont have the money to sink into it again so soon after the first costly a few days before repairs. But anyway, Thomas was able to get the customer appreciation video done and it is available at Birchwood Academy
Here's a preview of it and what you will see. I will have to admit that while it is fun to have a reason to get spanked that was quite ouch filled none the less. It would have been with almost every item I dont like very much. LOL. And the worst was the most. Go figure. I hope next year that Better implements are picked for this month. *giggles*. At least i have a year to gear up for it this time LOL. Anyway hope you enjoy.

Stupid is as stupid does

Okay so I have enough drama in my real life but yesterday topped the list of drama in the scene. I went on to spankingtube as I do most days to see new videos and watch some of my favorites. One video in particular caught my eye and it wasn't even a spanking video. It was a young and foolish boy that posted a statement of slander. Supposedly he has been stalked and harassed by this one couple and things and I found the whole thing amusing and very uncalled for and suspicious to begin with when I first saw the video. It showed a couple that he has worked with as well that had asked him repeatedly not to use their video on public sites. He apparently doesn't know about privacy and normal moral standards either because he used video footage of this very couple in this 17 minute drama filled revenge video. After he stated in that same video that there never was a model release form and that they didnt want there videos up. He claims that he had a right to use this footage on spankingtube because it wasn't for a profit. But still even on the video this lady asked that he not use her and was not harsh or cruel or threatening as he claims she was.Now when I first saw the video I didnt have a clue who this other couple was. But still the same I do know of Kyle and drama follows him everywhere and he posts it in public forums and things for all to see. Thus making his self look bad and wondering why people dont like him. Still he went on to say that this couple cost him money etc. etc. etc. then even said that they got him banned from the Texas Allstate party.

Now I know Tubaman and that Texas group and I am a part of that. So naturally I emailed Tubaman and told him "hey did you know that there is a video up on spankingtube from this Kyle kid saying that this lady got him banned from Texas". I know that Tubaman is a very friendly and fair person so I knew that there was a real reason that Kyle was banned. I was curious now as to what it was. Apparently Kyle had sent a threatening email to this other lady about the party and things and she showed it to Tubaman. Since this party is a fun party no one wants that kind of drama.  He doesn't know much about Kyle at all and knows this other lady very well of course he is going to say your not welcome at the party. That is Tubaman's right and there are many who are glad that he did. Apparently Kyle is well known but not for the good things he thinks he is.

Anyway I also emailed the webmaster for spankingtube and said that I believe that video has no place on this site. It is drama that started elsewhere and shouldn't have been brought to this site. Again this was before I even knew who this lady was. Although since Kyle posted her screen name on a spankingsite I belong to I did contact this person and ask what was the deal with this video that I just saw and if she was the same person from the Texas group that I have talked to as well as Thomas. And she was! go figure. I then got to talking to her more and looking around to see what kyle was talking about. Of course all the evidence he kept saying that would clear his name only pointed back at him causing a stir not her. And she was very upset about the whole thing and still managed to be civil even in the midst of being attacked by groupies that claim that Kyle is this wonderful person and this girl is lieing. I then found out that Kyle also posted a status on his myspace page that read " I am being screwed over by this whore __________ If you love me then call this number and prank her" He then posted a number that he thought was her's and it turns out that it was Tubamans. what a dumb ass. For one posting that number was highly illegal and then admitting and encouraging a crime by telling others to prank her. Now that took some balls. LOL and he didnt even have the right number. Tubaman I hope that you sue the crap out of him for that. I of course called the number and let them know where I got the number from. I was glad to hear a friendly face on the other end and getting to talk to Tubaman. It was just so funny to all involved at that point. Not really funny in the long run but some of the stupid things Kyle was doing was funny. And the comments on that video were hilarious.

The video has finally been taken down I am glad. for her sake and for the sheer reason that spankingtubne was not the place to air your dirty laundry like that. For something that was none of those peoples business to begin with. And he claimed that she was bad mouthing and spreading lies about him yet, yesterday was the first time that I heard anything of this matter and it came from his video not from her. She has never once said anything to anyone in the group about this. She may have mentioned it to friends that are close to her. but other then that she didnt go around slandering this kid or saying things about him. He choose to air this his self and let the spanking world know all about this. So I'm going to do him a favor and continue his process. However I would advise that no one take any heed to anything this kid says or does. He claims to have been a professional and in the lifestyle for over 10 years etc. etc. and that was two years ago. hes 22 now so saying that two years ago would mean he has been in this lifestyle since he was ten. May have had fantasies and things at that age but he was not a professional disciplinarian and he wasn't in this lifestyle then.

And he made another video not to far back about a supposedly other stalker. that was saying false things about him and what not. He also had a discussion before about these model releases and felt then that he didnt need them for everyone since he is a professional disciplinarian and whatnot. I for one would never let that man near me at this point. Not that I would before he has shown his true self and way he acts that he is nothing more then immature and an egotistic ASS.

Okay I vented enough. Sorry at first I had no clue who this person was. And I still never meet her in person or Kyle for that matter. But from what I know from both of them and have seen from recent things I can see for myself who the ass was in this situation and it was not the girl.

wondering

Sometimes I go through these days when my mind gets to wondering. Some days I have reasons. Like being mad at my SO like today or sometimes there is no reason. Today I have been wondering things like who my real mother and father are. Where they might be. Have I ever met them and didnt know it. Do I have any brothers or sisters. Would I have been a different person if they had raised me. If I have brothers and sisters what are they like. Could my neighbor actually be related to me. There are so many things to ponder and just no way really of knowing. I kind of hate when my mind gets to wondering it leaves me feeling a little blue and down. But its just one of those things that I cant help. I would like to one day before my time is over meet the person who gave birth to me and who is my real mother. She wouldnt be that old at the time since she was only 16 when she had me so that would make her 50. Just so many questions and things going through my mind it makes the day long. Anyway I have a song going through my head as well that I have liked ever since I can remember. I remember thinking about these things every time I heard it and wondering. I think I heard it for the first time when I was a child on the movie American tail. I'll never forget the song and sometimes it just helps me get through these days. Hoping that maybe my real mom might think of me as well at times. I found a couple versions of the song on you tube even the American tail part. so I listened to it a few times today LOL. Enjoy

A little bit of nothing LOL And a caning video I liked

Hey all I just wanted to stop in and let you all know that Thomas is working on getting the videos done. He was able to get to the other shoot last night. We had the car fixed for a brief moment but it ended up dieing again when he was leaving the shoot. Causing him to have walk two hours home. So needless to say he has been very busy and hasn't gotten to the editing and things. The car is starting to get on my nerves anyway. Don't really know what is wrong with it. there are a few obvious expensive things like the CV joints and the O2 sensor or something like that. but the alternator supposedly was fine it was a belt that had come loose or so we thought. guess there is something else wrong with it. Who knows when and if we can get it fixed.

My sons have been home from school the last three days though and they dont have school on Monday and Tuesday so hopefully we can get it figured out by then. My sons birthday is Sunday so I am hoping I can find a ride to Walmart I had ordered his cake for Sunday morning and I need to get a few things for his dinner he wants steak and broccoli. Hes an odd child sometimes LOL. But I really wanted to get him what he wanted for the dinner. But I am glad I went and got his gifts already.

On Saturdays I usually take the boys to Lowe's to do a project. they have a free kids workshop and they make some really neat things. This week the Lowes was also sponsoring a shop to make the boy scout pinewood derby cars. And since I dont really own any tools and the ones Thomas owns aren't really for cutting and shaping and things I was really hoping to take them there for that so they can make their cars. I might look into how much a taxi would cost or something. I dont really know the bus schedule either but might look into that. There is a bus stop about a mile down our road. A long walk at first but we should be able to manage if it will get us there and they can get their cars done and things.

Spanking wise there hasn't been a whole lot of that besides the two videos we made the other day. Once I get the boys back into school I will try out self spanking one day. I've been batting it around for a little while now and have decided to give it a go. I'll record the first time for everyone as well.

I am not a real big fan of canings myself. I like to watch others though but do not like to be on the receiving end. I saw a very nice caning video on the spanking tube. I dont know how the girl stayed in that position that long and took that many strokes of the cane. I would not have been so still. And then the end he left her in an awkward position leaving the cane resting on her legs. I counted at least 30 something strokes.I would not be able to take that like she did ever.

Here's the video to share. Wow that girl takes a really nice caning well. kudos to her because I couldn't. This video makes the 5 I took the other seem like a piece of cake. LOL Enjoy!

A day that started with a spanking and ended with a bad bang.

Yesterday started as a great day. I meet Thomas at lunch and we ran home to do some filming. We finished the customer appreciation video. It was quite fun but it was also rather ouchie. The implements that were used were not at all light ones. And on an unspanked bottom they packed a really hard punch. LOL. Things spanking wise have been really slow and non existent lately. We just dont have the privacy to have any spanking play at this house and the only time we can is when The kids are at school and on his hour lunch break. Which we usually dont do unless we have a video to record.

But yesterday we made the time and here is the breakdown of the spanking that happened. Besides the fact that I havent been spanked as often I also was just in the hospital so also on medicine that makes me more sensitive to things. So I felt each and every swat even the hand ones. He started by having me on the bed with my hands on the wall. So that my bottom was easy to reach when we got to the belt part. The first implement was the hand. The count was 18 with the hand to which he first said okay we are starting with 48 with the hand. I corrected him though yelling no 18 LOL. So he started with 18 with the hand. After that was completed he quickly got the belt to which I only had to endure 6 swats. The first swat though took me by surprise and he was quick at delivering the second all the way to the 6th. The next implement was then the small wooden paddle. to which I recevied 16 swats with. he alternated from cheek to cheek but he still did in a rapid pace which left little time for relief. LOL. After those 16 swats it was time for the small wedding gift that we now have almost had for one year. March will be our one year anniversary for being a committed couple. May will make three years total together. The number of counts for the wedding gift was 18. Again he didnt take his time in delivering the swats and gave them all in a quick pace. The final implement and the one that I dreaded the most was the bathbrush. This also was the largest number of swats at 48. I think the anticipation made it worse because i knew what was coming and didnt like it too much LOL. I think I braced myself which probably made it worse for me. He again didnt take his time and deliver the first 44 quickly and didnt really hold back much on them. He then announced that there was four left. I was glad he didnt ask me what number we were at because I lost count after like the tenth one. I even tried a few times to reach back although I didnt because i didnt want my hand to accidentally get smacked although I so wanted a break and was hoping that the 48 were over. I was not at all relived to hear only four more left. I was hoping it was over. He finished the last four harder then the rest. By the time this was all over my bottom was sore and red. That bathbrush really leaves its mark.

I had thought that would be the end of it. I went to pull up my pants and panties at which time Thomas stopped me and said that we weren't done yet. I was a bit surprised because I wasn't expecting what came next. He then informed me that we were going to have a discussion about my recent attitude in the mornings and getting up. As I have said before I am not a morning person. I guess knowing that he really can't do much about it in the mornings like before I got back into my normal leave me alone I dont want to get up attitude and have gotten rather bitchy at him when he wakes me up to get the boys ready for school and such.

Thomas left the camera on for this though and piled up some pillows on the bed that he made me lay over. He picked up the belt so I thought that was what he was going to use but I later realized that he had set that down and went for the cane. I kicked my legs in protest but knew really that I didnt have a choice and it was going to happen regardless. Fighting it would only make things worse and I was in the wrong for giving him attitude and such in the mornings even though it is something I hate and I'm just over all bitchy in the mornings. And being that is the type of relationship that we have and it was even mentioned in our vows I really had it coming anyway and did deserve it. So he started with his usual scolding about my attitude and such. At one point he asked me how many weeks this has been going on. I really didnt know but he didnt either. And actually I think the 5 that he decided was pretty generous since it was probably more like 5 months. at least as long as we have been living here. So maybe more like 3 or 4. But anyway he decided that I would get one cane stroke for each 5 weeks. He then also had me count each one which I hate doing. The count went more like Ouch 1, owww 2 and so on and so on. till we got to five which was counted rather breathless I am sure. I was finally glad that it was over. Thomas laid down beside me and we cuddled for a little afterwards.

The caning itself was not that bad but it was worse considering we had just done the customer appreciation video so my bottom was already sore. He then asked if I wanted an arnica rub before he had to go back to work. Which I did. Although finding the arnica was at first difficult. I had ended up pulling my bottoms back up till we found it. When we did he then instructed me to go back over his knee so he could give me an arnica rub. I did but said I dont want to be across your lap LOL. I was joking though when it is for rubs and play that is my favorite place to be. I did however manage to get a few hand smacks and another brief caning by being rather annoyed and bratty. But we finally stopped and I took him back to work.

I had a few things to do that day but I was in a good mood and ready for the day after the little session we had that day at lunch. I headed to walmart because my sons birthday is this weekend and i wanted to get him the star wars lego set that I had seen at walmart on sale for only 40 dollars where it is usually 60. With the intent to buy him that I headed to the toy aisle. I found the star wars section and picked out the lego set I saw the other day with him. He likes star wars so there was alot of things that he wanted but were rather pricey. Those type of toys aren't cheap anymore in fact any toys aren't cheap anymore LOL. I did however find a great deal. They had a 60 dollar star war toy on sale for 12 dollars since I only had 50 to spend in total for his birthday I could get both. So I opted to get the 12 dollar nice toy that he would love and a cheaper lego star war set. They had one with less pieces but that had all the little star wars men. I think it came with like 5 of the man and a space vechile to build. So I am sure he will like it. It was about 100 less pisces and alot cheaper. He has plenty of legos though so having the man he can make his own space things LOL. I also picked up a few little dollar toys he would like and a batman figure that was on clearance. got to love the clearance racks. So for 48 dollars I got him a few things that he will like. If I had gone with the first set he would only have gotten that and maybe a dollar toy or two. I'm sure he will be very happy with what he did get though.

I then headed to work to pick up Thomas. And told him about my shopping adventure. I also had to get a few things at walmart for the pack meeting that night so I spent a good while there. I was planning on picking up the kids first then heading to Thomas but wouldnt have had time. So I got to Thomas's work a little early and waited for him to get off. The last customer they had had brought a card up with his purchase it was a Christian based biblical card that was in the shape of a monopoly card. It said get out of hell free card. LOL. The customer and Thomas got into a discussion about monopoly at which point Thomas blurted out without any warning or care that he likes spankopoly much better and that card would read get out of the woodshed free instead. I could feel my face get red just being there to hear that. The customer didnt really say anything but it was quite funny and embarrassing to me.

After we left his work and got the kids we stopped at the store to pick up subs for dinner. Since as soon as we got home me and the youngest would be heading out for his meeting so I wouldnt have time to cook and things. We got home me and the youngest and I ate our subs quickly then headed out the door to the meeting. We got about 15 minutes down the road and the radio shut off and the lights inside started dimming. I knew already from a car I had a long time ago that I was pretty sure that the alternator on the car was getting ready to die and the next thing to go would be the car itself. So I turned into the seven eleven that was right there. Shut the car off and called Thomas. Telling him what had just happened. I was going to try to make it back home but when I went to turn the car back on it wouldnt start.

My cell phone sucks though so I couldn't really hear anything that Thomas was saying and I couldn't get the hood open either. i was getting rather frustrated. A passer by that pulled in asked if I needed help getting it opened so he tried and after a little he got it opened. At that point I couldn't hear Thomas at all so I was basically looking at the inside of a car that I knew nothing about and couldn't hear anything he was trying to say to me. So I just yelled into my phone that i cant hear a damn thing he said because my cell phone sucked. So we had to resort to text messaging. Which didnt help much. I just asked if my son and I should start walking home. He answered that he had someone coming to help me and to look at the car.

When that person got there he asked if I could start the car I said no but when I actually tried it did start. he told me to turn it off and he looked at it even more. Then asked me to start it again. This time it didnt start again. Pretty much there was not alot that could be done at this point. He pretty much confirmed that the problem was probably the alternator and he just gave us a ride home. Now today we need to figure out how we are going to get the car fixed since we need it to get the kids to school and Thomas to work. This morning Thomas had to walk to work as it is very cold I felt really sorry for him The boys of course couldn't walk to school so they are home with me today. Hopefully they dont stress me out LOL.

Hopefully we can get the car fixed today and get the kids back to school tomorrow. I dont know though. I'm sure Thomas doesn't want to have to walk to work although his bike is at work and he will be riding that home so he can bike to work if need be tomorrow at least. Well that was my day in a nutshell. It was an eventful day to say the least. It least it started good.

As soon as Thomas gets the video done and its available to the store I will share the promo with you for those two videos. he is hoping to shoot on Thursday with a model so I hope that we get the car fixed by then. And then we will have another promo to share. So keep an eye out for those videos coming soon.

I love to eat vegetable for intercourse everytime

Now I have seen some very odd keywords but I believe that one takes the cake. How it lead the person to my blog is beyond me LOL. And why would anyone be searching for "I love to eat vegetable for intercourse every time" anyway. The other keywords were pretty normal though I still wonder how some led to my blog.

I haven't checked my stat keeper in a little while though so I was quite surprised when I saw that and just had to use it as a title LOL.

The post has nothing to do with vegetables or intercourse though. And it is a bit scary to think that someone puts those two together anyway.

Tonight I am just writing nothing much. I haven't much to write about. Thomas and i would like to try to get the customer appreciation video done this week. If we can get the kids taken care of for awhile. We also have a gift certificate for a steakhouse that I was hoping we can use this weekend as well. Could use a night away from the kids for a little while.

We almost booted our dog out the house but I think we will give him one more chance. He got in to the garbage tonight and got a can out. My son tried to get the can and the dog attacked him biting him in the face. Its just a little dog but he isnt very nice when it comes to taking something from him. Hes gotten the boys Lego's and things and he growls and barks and such when you try to get it from him. My son wants us to give him another chance and I'm not sure yet if we will or if we will be taking him to the shelter tomorrow yet. I love animals but I'm not going to have one that will bite my kids. He got him pretty good on the upper lip as well. If he wasn't up to date on his shots he would have been gone tonight. It just is not really our week for pets. LOL

I went and looked at that house that I wanted. It is very nice but a little more then we can afford at the moment unless this job comes through this week we can't get it. But it is the same neighborhood as we lived before and it is very nice.The boys would stay in the same schools and all. It also has a utility shed in the back that Thomas could use as a studio for the videos. And it is secluded and private which we like. Hopefully things go well and the job pans out and no one else snags the house LOL. It isn't a bad price considering the area and the number of rooms and things. I love the house and wish we could have gotten it tonight. I so want to move.
As far as spanking there is also a woodshed type laundry room on the side of the house. So it has a whole lot of spanking opportunity's and when the boys are in bed we can go to the shed and have some spanking play and not have to worry about the boys or the neighbors hearing. This house is a spanko house LOL.