submissiveness and more

I promised that I had a few ideas on my thoughts of submission that I would share today. But I also have a few other things I want to share as well. Ill start with the few other things LOL

First off I wanted to share another blog that I haven't yet added to my links. It is one of Suzy's blogs from American Spanking Society. It is called Spanking in Suzy's world. . She writes alot and has started awhile ago interviewing or writing about spankees and spankers that she personally knows and have meet. Last week she featured Thomas and this week she featured me. So if you haven't already checked out her blog please do as it is really interesting and you will get a chance to learn about your everyday average spankos that are around. I think I was number 13 so you know that there are many spankos to read about.

I'm excited about this weekend though as we finally got a chance to purchase 2 more tickets for Busch Gardens here in Florida. They have a special pass for Florida residents called a fun pass that is valid until December something of 2010. But for 75 dollars each pass it is a great deal to be able to use it to get into the park everyday if you wanted 2. If you only go twice then it is still a good deal since a one day ticket cost more then that price regularly. We already purchased our oldest sons pass a few months ago when his school was planning a trip there and it would have cost us 50 just for that trip so we opted to get him the pass and had hoped to get all of us passes sooner so we could all go. That didn't really happen as we didnt have any extra money coming in and the money we do have mostly just pays the bills. Well finally some issues with child support that had gotten lost finally got worked out and I recevied some of that money and it was enough to get 2 more of the tickets for my youngest and me. So I will be getting those tickets this Sunday and the boys and I are heading to Busch Gardens on Sunday for a day of fun together. Thomas is going to amtgard and not at all worried that we don't have enough for his ticket yet. Hopefully we will get that one next week if the rest of the money I am owed comes in. Then we can start planning a trip to Busch Gardens every Sunday or Saturday afternoon and get the most out of our tickets till December.

I also stole a spanking meme from Emma enchanted that I will posting real soon. So I do have a few things that I can post coming up soon so hopefully my blog won't be so few and far between posts I also joined the OTK fantasy football league again this year so Ill be keeping up with that and sharing the results and things here. My first post will probably be on Tuesday about that though as the games started last night and won't all end until Monday night. So keep in eye out for those as well.

Now on to my thoughts and feelings......

I have gotten alot of emails both good and bad considering my relationship with Thomas and being a submissive. One thing that bothers me most is when someone feels the need to contact me to tell me that they feel that I am in an abusive and unhealthy relationship and that I am weak and allowing a man to control and beat me. Those people are oh so wrong about what my relationship is and what being a submissive to Thomas means to us. It may mean different things to others and alot of people who don't care to understand won't and thats okay just don't think that I have to feel the same way as you and consider me abused because I have this kind of lifestyle. I don't go sending emails to people with my opinions in the way I have gotten some. Having an opinion is fine and it is okay to voice that opinion but I don't have to agree with it and there are ways to voice your opinion without putting down or being crude and mean to someone.

For me being submissive is not about just blindly being a doormat for someone in the name of Love or whatever. And I have come from the abusive side and can tell the difference between a controlled relationship and a controlling relationship. And I in no way shape or form feel at all abused and my days are not filled with fear as they once were before in my relationships. And I know that many can't or won't try to understand that.

Being submissive for me is not about control really either. Although there is a level of controlling in the acts there is more to it then him just demanding me to do things his way or I get beat. I never have been beaten by Thomas ever. And you all can call it whatever you want I call it caring and giving me what i need and want and desire even if at the moment that it happens it isn't necessarily what i want.

For someone that doesn't have the same mindset or know just how peaceful and relaxing a spanking or dominance can be then they can never understand the emotional level between two people who partake in power exchange, Spanking, HOH or whatever name they give it. I can't even describe the level of happiness or bliss and what not that comes from the intimacy and closeness a relationship of this kind brings. It works well for me and Thomas and it is the times when our relationship strays from this that we have the most problems. Every relationship has its up and downs but it takes love and strength to be able to get through them together and with each person being happy and content.

For me my content comes from being submissive. I feel my best when Thomas is in control. Just to know that I have a strong guy that loves me and loves me enough to make sure that I am happy and that I do things that are good for me as opposed to not good for me and whatnot. Even acts that I wouldn't like give me a feeling of security and a level of happiness that I can't get elsewhere. I am still my own person and have my own faults, feelings and things and my own voice and I have the freedom to voice my concerns although I don't have the communication skills to do it the way I probably should sometimes but thats okay that is one of the things that we are working on together.

I know that some also think that this kind of thing is strictly sexual and just for erotic or sexual needs and what not. I however do not agree. I agree that there is a level of sexual needs that very well can come from this lifestyle and it really spices up the sex life to add a little spanking or tying up and what not to lovemaking but that is not all there is to this whole thing either.

Like I have said before sometimes when my emotions are getting the best of me a good sound spanking can help me feel more relaxed and less stressed. I don't really understand why or how and the way the whole mind works but I do know that for me if I feel stressed out and moody then to have Thomas take me across his knee and paddle me with the wedding gift until I can't sit anymore is usually very helpful. Although in our house the need far outweighs the ability so I often feel stressed since he can't really just take me in the room and spank it out of me.

This whole dynamic and lifestyle thing is very hard to understand or describe and it is different for each person. What a submissive means to someone else means an entirely different thing to another submissive. But it all boils down to what works for each individual and their partner or partners. And just because I choose to be submissive to Thomas and identify myself as a submissive does not mean that i will be that to anyone that claims to be a Dom type or Top. I only submit to Thomas because for me that submission is an act of love and it is an act of a very close and tie between us. But some think that submissives should just sit back and listen to any and all Tops or Dominants whenever they say something and what not. But nope not this submissive. My submission is a gift and one i do not give away freely to just anyone.

I probably didn't even get across what i wanted to get across because well I just am not the best at saying my feelings real easy and even when i do I don't always convey my thoughts the right way that I meant to. But hopefully I helped some understand that while yes Thomas and i have our ups and downs we are a loving couple and there is no abuse or mistreatment.